I became a Christian back when I was in 5th grade, and it is always a sweet and comforting thing to remember, that I am saved.
I have been active in youth fellowships since then up to high school, or at the very least, I have been attending youth fellowships. I have joined my brothers and sisters in Christ in activities that are refreshing to the soul, to name a few: outreach and feeding programs, fund raising, garage sales, summer camps, summer bible study volunteering as assistant teacher, mall evangelism, and etc.
When I reached college, it was harder to fit in the schedule and it took more effort that I apparently was not able to give. Also, I had to fetch my mom from work which added to the conflict in time. All in all, I was out of it and before I was even aware of it, I was backsliding.
Being a Christian does not mean you are perfect and better than other people who are yet to be saved, sometimes some Christians even have it bad. A few of us carry a burden to live up to people's standards of what a Christian should be, and on top of that we have to live up to what we think a Christian should be, and what we think we should be for our Lord. It is a daily struggle, for some if not for all. It is like how some people describe love as a daily decision, you decide to love and keep loving. As Christians, it is a constant decision to walk in the right path and to aim heavenward. Our human nature and flaws of course are given obstacles, but then again obstacles are there to be conquered.
After college or finishing up college rather, we went to the states and I remember thinking "finally! a chance to find a fellowship group and grow again!", but that of course did not happen as I got too preoccupied with adjusting and with work. All just excuses really.
Last week, I attended a fellowship my friend from my old fellowship goes to. We grew up as Christian brothers and sisters. I actually blew off the first two or three time of going, either I was too late or I was not able to wake up. Last week I even ran late, but I just went and got over with going there for the first time. It was a nice familiar feeling, and yet new and refreshing at the same time. Different church, different crowd, yet within an hour or so, I poured out to them a heavy burden about me, my personal life, and my family. A bunch of strangers really and I dropped a personal burden, but then again, we are siblings in Christ, and that was very comforting. I even really looked forward to this Thursday.
Earlier today after work, I went to the gym and trained, also tried boxing for the first time and did basic footwork movements and jab - speed punches. I tired myself enough to have a good sleep with the four hours I had, and I prayed that I be able to wake up for bible study. And thankfully I did. It was very easy for me to just turn off the alarm and doze off again, but I thank God for the hunger for His word that I felt, that I stood up and got ready.
Meat of the matter: Earlier we read and discussed Matthew 6: 5-15.
Matthew 6: 5-8 "[5] And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. [6] But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. [7] And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. [8] Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
What we discussed and got out of the reading:
Verse 5: Pastor said that actors before we referred to or called as hypocrites. So in the verse it is like these people are just acting, praying beautifully in front of the people to impress and show off, but behind it all lacks intimacy and sincerity, and the real connection to God. These people have received their reward which are praises and adoration from others with comments like "he/she is such a good Christian", "he/she is so religious and spiritual", and etc. They pray in front of people and put up a facade of being so holy, but behind it there is no heart and sincerity. All just for show.
Verse 6: It does not literally mean go into your room and pray in secret, because it does not matter where you are. What this verse is trying to say is have the heart when you pray, and pray to pray and not to impress people. The Father sees what is truly in our hearts and we will be rewarded accordingly.
Verse 7: This would refer to a few of us Christians who tend to pray with flowery words to again, impress people. We sometimes beat around the bush before getting to the point of what we are really praying for and we tend to use big words just to impress people with our wide vocabulary. Babbling, saying words and not really meaning them.
Verse 8: Our Father knows what we need even before we ask Him. He knows what is in our hearts. All the acting and praying for show is useless because God sees our true intentions and sees what is in our hearts. We cannot hide from Him.
- When we pray, God sees our intention. When we pray, we should make sure and maybe question our intentions.
- Flowery words are not necessary, it is best to states and declare clearly what we are praying for.
- We should be mindful of our prayers, and be as theologically correct or in line with the bible as possible, not like i.e. "Thank you for dying on the cross for us oh Father" - It was Jesus, the Son who died for our since, not the Father.
- Make sure your prayers are correct and do not just pray for the sake of praying, i.e. praying over a fast-food meal to nourish your body, instead pray that it will satisfy your hunger - that would be better.
- Praying with intimacy, the heart, and sincerity. God sees your heart. Pray not out of routine, pray with heart.
These were the few highlights of our group discussion. I finished bible study feeling refreshed. And already I am excited for next week Thursday! I worry though when I leave for the states that I backslide again. It is a constant battle to keep on growing. I once heard our pastor before say that if you are not growing and not moving forward, you are moving backward and backsliding.
Again in this session of bible study, I poured in a little heart and told them how it was, backsliding and all. It was as if God had a pager, and I was sending Him messages and He was receiving it. I keep talking and talking without listening to Him, to His words. And even in those times I am unfaithful, I know, truly know that He is faithful and He never left me. I still felt His blessing in my life even when I stopped reading my bible and stopped communicating with Him, if not to ask and ask some more. But He never left me, He was constantly giving me love and blessing. And as I was professing this, I felt I was close to tears. My God is an awesome God.
PS: Noj also gave me my Starbucks planner today. Yey! Now to continue collecting stickers for my sister's planner.
PSS: Congratulations to all board passer! Hello Engineers! :) God is good.
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